


Toodles

by jack_hunter



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Ezra made a friend, Family Angst, Family Feels, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I love Loth-cats, I may expand this into a series of shorts too, I'm really bad at tagging, Mother-Son Relationship, Phoenix Nest Summer Gift Exchange 2020, character injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:07:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25652581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jack_hunter/pseuds/jack_hunter
Summary: The grey loth-cat with the bright brown eyes and the little kink in its tail had followed Ezra around for a long time. The creature had only been a kitten when Ezra first saw it, aged three and playing outside his front door whilst his father fixed his tricycle. He had dropped the stick he was using to draw in the dirt path, the branch rolling away, too far for the little boy to run and grab it. Ezra, had been about to cry when the loth-cat came plodding over with the stick in its mouth. It placed it at his feet, meowing once before it pranced away. Ever since, Ezra couldn’t remember a time when the loth-cat hadn’t been somewhere in his life.----After a battle leaves Ezra in the medical wing, Kanan finds comfort in the form of a loth-cat that refuses to leave Ezra alone.
Relationships: Ezra Bridger & Kanan Jarrus, Kanan Jarrus/Hera Syndulla
Comments: 10
Kudos: 77
Collections: Phoenix Nest Summer Exchange





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MickeyTRN](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MickeyTRN/gifts).



> This was written for the Phoenix Nest Summer Exchange for MickeyTRN. I hope you like it!

The grey loth-cat with the bright brown eyes and the little kink in its tail had followed Ezra around for a long time. The creature had only been a kitten when Ezra first saw it, aged three and playing outside his front door whilst his father fixed his tricycle. He had dropped the stick he was using to draw in the dirt path, the branch rolling away, too far for the little boy to run and grab it. Ezra had been about to cry when the loth-cat came plodding over with the stick in its mouth. It placed it at his feet, meowing once before it pranced away. Ever since, Ezra couldn’t remember a time when the loth-cat hadn’t been somewhere in his life. 

For years, Ezra had just assumed that the loth-cat was a stray that had been chased out of the city by the Stormtroopers and made a home in the old communications tower, but during his years on the streets the young teen had found comfort in the little friend he could rely on to help cheer him up during the worst of times. The loth-cat would sometimes bring Ezra scraps of food, or return belongings that other street rats had stolen from him, and if the boy attached a small bucket to its back, the loth-cat would bring it back filled to the brim with drinkable water. Ezra named the loth-cat ‘Toodles’, as it would disappear before Ezra had a chance to give her a goodbye pet, and his mother would always say “toodles” instead of “goodbye” when his father left for work in the morning.

When Ezra first met the Spectres, Toodles disappeared for a little while. It wasn’t uncommon for the loth-cat to be gone for days and sometimes weeks at a time, but when Ezra didn’t see his friend for three months despite the periodic visits to his tower and constant searching whenever he was in the city, Ezra began to fear that Toodles was gone forever. She had been one of the few constants in his life after his parents were taken, and though he now had a crew who were slowly becoming his family, it didn’t feel the same. It was as if something was missing. 

She wasn’t gone, though. Toodles appeared on his bunk the night after his birthday, curling up on his chest until Ezra woke up, groggy and confused. He was too tired to question how she had gotten onto their ship that was nearly three systems away from Lothal, but he welcomed her and let her sleep on his chest that night. Toodles was gone in the morning. She would come and go, never around long enough for anyone else to see her, but Ezra loved the little loth-cat and welcomed her whenever she was around. He would sneak her into the galley for food when he knew everyone was asleep, carrying his little friend in his arms and chatting happily about his adventures. Toodles was as much a part of Ezra’s family as his parents were, as the  _ Ghost  _ crew had become.

The mission was supposed to be simple, but like everything that the  _ Ghost  _ and her crew did, it went south very quickly. Ezra and Kanan had paired up to scout out a planet that could possibly become the location of the Alliance’s base. It was a cold planet covered in mesas and rocky plateaus. The terrain would turn from a flat pathway to a forty-foot drop into sharp stalagmites. Kanan had taken to keeping one hand on Ezra’s collar so he could pull his padawan back after a few too many close calls. Ezra had been too excited to explore to keep a proper eye on where he was going. Chopper had stayed behind on the Phantom as the two Jedi explored, Hera was in orbit on the  _ Ghost _ , and Sabine and Zeb had been dropped off on one of the nearby moons to search for a possible outpost. It was just supposed to be a quick mission, a few hours at most. Then the Inquisitors turned up. The Fifth Brother and Seventh Sister had been waiting for the Jedi and launched to attack just as Kanan and Ezra managed to draw their lightsabers. 

The Inquisitors seemed to have two goals: kill Kanan, capture Ezra. It wasn’t difficult to see how their attacks towards the Jedi Knight were vicious and quick, whereas with Ezra they aimed more to disarm and incapacitate him. Both Jedi were able to hold their ground. Kanan’s years of experience and training meant he was able to retaliate, knocking the Inquisitors back and outsmarting his opponents. Ezra was small and nimble enough to be able to dodge the attacks, using his own training to protect himself rather than try to overpower the Inquisitors. Their bond let them silently communicate, forming plans to fight back together and keep the Inquisitors at bay long enough for Chopper to arrive with the Phantom. The grumpy droid seemed to be taking forever. 

The Seventh Sister was too interested in Ezra for it to be just about capturing him. Her sick and twisted smile, and the way she taunted him made Ezra’s stomach churn, but he ignored her as best as he could and kept fighting back. He just had to hold out until Chopper arrived and then he and Kanan could escape. There was no chance of making the planet a base now that the Inquisitors had been there. Ezra managed to kick the Seventh Sister back, rolling out of the way as her blade fell down. Whilst his opponent was down, Ezra glanced over to his master. Kanan was fairing well. He glanced up at the sky. Where was Chopper? 

Movement caught the corner of Ezra’s eye. The padawan turned his head, eyes widening at the form that had perched itself on a nearby rock. Bright brown eyes, grey fur and a kink in the tail. Toodles meowed once, a grin gracing her lips as she stared back at Ezra. Ezra felt frozen. The appearance of his little friend threw him off entirely. He didn’t notice the Seventh Sister getting up, but thankfully the Force had alerted Ezra to her lightsaber coming down on him and he was able to block it in time. His feet slipped as he was pushed backwards, barely able to block all the blows as the red blade clashed with his own blue one. He kept stepping back to try and dodge the attacks but they were too quick and his foot hit a rock wrong and-

The pain was unbearable, spreading from his abdomen right up his entire right side. It burned and if he hadn’t been in shock, Ezra would have screamed. The Seventh Sister smirked, the red of her lightsaber making her face glow as she twisted the blade and Ezra let out a gasp. She pulled the lightsaber out. Ezra fell to his knees. Someone screamed out his name. The Seventh Sister disappeared. His vision turned black. 

Kanan felt Ezra’s agony before he saw what had happened. One of the first things that a youngling is taught in the creche is how to control the emotions they project into the force, and as his Master, Kanan had made sure to teach Ezra how to put up shields in his mind ever since they began sharing a bond. Unfortunately, he knew first hand that immense pain could lead to all control of one's emotions to disappear. The pain in Kanan’s side was muted, but enough to force him to freeze and whip his head around to his padawan just in time to see the Seventh Sister withdraw her weapon from Ezra’s abdomen, the boy collapsing to the ground. He wasn’t moving. “Ezra!” Kanan screamed. With strength he never knew he had, the Jedi pushed the Fifth Brother backwards, slamming the Inquisitor against a nearby rock. His hand flew out and the Seventh Sister went flying towards the edge of the cliff, disappearing from view as she went over the side. Kanan didn’t care about her. 

Their shared bond was a pathway of nothing but pure agony, freezing shock and quivering fear, but everything Ezra was emitting through their bond was cut off in seconds as just as Kanan slid to a stop on his knees by his padawan’s side, Ezra’s eyes closed and he collapsed. Kanan caught the young boy before he could fall face first onto the ground. “Ezra?” His words came out as nothing more than a whisper, fingers reaching to his padawan’s neck and pressing lightly. His pulse was weak. Too weak. “No… No, stay with me, kid,” Kanan pleaded. He reached down to his padawan’s side and carefully picked at the fabric of the old flight suit, peeling the seared fabric back to inspect the wound. There was no blood, expected of a lightsaber wound, but the red and blistering skin hid injuries Kanan couldn’t see. He was no Healer, but you didn’t have to be to feel the damage the blade had caused. 

Their bond was fading. 

_ No! Not again! I can’t lose him too!  _

“Stay with me, Ezra, please,” Kanan maneuvered the much smaller man into his arms and staggered to his feet. Why was Ezra so  _ light _ ? Engines roared overhead. The  _ Phantom  _ landed not too far away. Shifting Ezra’s head to rest against his shoulder, Kanan ran as fast as he could to the waiting ship, his grip tightening on the boy to keep him as close as possible. Chopper beeped a question to him, but the Jedi just ordered the astromech to get them in the air and instead focused on lying Ezra down across the seats. 

Kanan rushed to the supply closet and reached for the medkit. There wasn’t much he could do without knowing the full extent of the injury but he knew from his years in the Order that if he didn’t apply bacta to the wound soon, it would only get worse. Their medkit was severely lacking, something Kanan made a mental note of for when he wasn’t fussing over his padawan, but there was bacta and gause and that was all that mattered in that moment. There wasn’t much else Kanan was able to do anyways. With practiced precision, the Jedi carefully unzipped the flight suit whilst sending as much encouragement through their bond as he could, praying that Ezra would be able to feel it and grab a hold of the tether. Ezra’s side flickered in and out, like a flame in the wind that clung to the candle wick as best as it could. 

The  _ Phantom  _ eventually came to a stop as it docked with the  _ Ghost _ . Having applied the bacta as best as he could, Kanan scooped his padawan up again and huddled him into his arms, running from the docking station as quickly as he could. He didn’t bother with the ladder, trusting in the Force as he leaped down into the main hallway and went running past the rest of the crew, ignoring their shouts of concern and shock. He vaguely registered Zeb shouting to Hera to get them back to  _ Phoenix Home _ , but the door of their makeshift medical bay - one of the many storage holds that they kept their medical supplies in - closed behind him as he laid Ezra on the cold table. Ezra’s head lolled to the side, his limbs limp, but he was still warm and still breathing. Kanan focused on that. Someone placed a breathing mask over Ezra’s mouth - it was Sabine, when did she arrive? - and it snapped Kanan to work as he reached for the wires for the vital sign monitor and carefully placed them on Ezra’s chest, clipping the little white clip to his padawan’s finger.  _ Stay with me, Ezra, please. Just keep holding on.  _

A hand, gentle and soft, appeared on Kanan’s shoulder whilst another reached for his own hands. Why were his hands shaking? A soothing voice whispered in his ear to “go and sit down”, and Kanan did as he was told because the voice was so caring and warm. His legs nearly gave out as he sat in the uncomfortable plastoid chair next to the table, his still-shaking hand reaching to grasp Ezra’s. The faint pulsing at the end of their bond was getting fainter and fainter.  _ Please hold on.  _


	2. Chapter 2

Meditation always helped to soothe Kanan’s nerves. As he sat in the waiting room of the small medical ward on  _ Phoenix Home _ , the Jedi ignored the bustling of the doctors around him in favour of closing his eyes and releasing his emotions into the Force. There was no point in panicking; panicking wouldn’t help Ezra. No, he had to be calm for his padawan. Hera had corralled Zeb and Sabine away a few hours ago with the suggestion of everyone getting some rest, but Kanan had refused to move. He couldn’t stray too far, the bond too fragile in his mind. If he was too far away he feared it would snap. 

The Force wouldn’t let him look into the room the doctors had taken Ezra into. It was as if a wall had been raised, a thin wall of cold, opaque glass that Kanan rested his hand against, sending as much positive energy as he could through it. Every time he tried to look further, the Force would just whisper in his ear, telling him to have patience and have faith. Kanan trusted the Force. He had to. 

_ “Steady, Caleb _ , _ ” _ Master Billaba would have said to him if she were still alive,  _ “the Force only takes those if it is their time.” _ Was it Ezra’s time? Jedi are taught that when someone’s time approaches they must be let go, for an attachment can lead down a dark path. Kanan wasn’t sure he would be able to let Ezra go.

He wasn’t too sure how long he had been meditating for, but a signature approached with steady footsteps and the light swishing of a long coat. Kanan opened his eyes as a doctor stopped before him. “Are you Kanan Jarrus?” the doctor asked. Kanan nodded and got to his feet. 

“How’s Ezra?” He asked. The doctor gave him a small smile and gestured for the Jedi to follow them. 

“He is stable,” the doctor informed as they walked down the blinding white corridors, “he’s lucky; your apprentice was struck in the liver and we had to remove half of it as it was beginning to kill the rest of the organ, but the liver regenerates itself and there was no major bleeding to worry about.” Kanan should have been relieved, but the news made his nerves worse. 

If Ezra was going to be fine, why was their bond so faint?

The door to the room labelled “14-09” opened when the doctor swiped their keycard. It looked like a standard recovery room, with white sheets and beeping machinery, but a little mop of blue hair stuck out from under the clean blankets Ezra was tucked into. 

“He needs to rest, and when he wakes up he may not be the same for a little while as he adjusts, but give him time,” the doctor explained, before turning to give Kanan some time alone. Kanan was at Ezra’s side in an instant, perching on the edge of the bed as he reached to brush those dark locks from his padawan’s eyes. Ezra’s skin looked too pale, his cheek too cold, his breathing too shallow. Their bond was too faint. 

Kanan didn’t try to stop the tears as they fell, letting the sobs shake his body as he all but collapsed onto his knees next to the bed, hand gripping Ezra’s as tightly as he dared. Everything he had tried to bottle up, his fear, his worry, his pain and desperation, he released it all and cried, head resting on the hard mattress and blankets bunching up in his fist where he grabbed them.

“Kanan, hon?” came Hera’s angelic voice as she walked over from the doorway, boots clicking against the durasteel floor. Kanan spun around on his knees, throwing his arms around Hera’s middle and burying his face into her stomach, still sobbing even as the Captain dropped down to sit with him and wrap her own arms around his shoulders, fingers running through his hair as she soothed his cries. “Talk to me.”

“I don’t know what to do,” Kanan admitted, looking up at Hera with puffy red eyes and tear-stained cheeks. Hera brushed the last trickles of tears away gently, pressing light kisses where they had been. 

“We’ll help him together,” she told him, “whatever he needs, we’re here for him.” Hera pulled Kanan back into her arms, peppering kisses across his hair whilst the Jedi lightly traced the patterns on her lekku. Hera’s eyes found Ezra, still asleep on the bed. The monitors beeped and the oxygen mask wheezed with each breath the young teen took, and each breath made her heart break more, but he would survive. 

Hera didn’t want to think of what would happen if he didn’t. 

It was very easy to lose track of time without a physical indicator. Without any chronometers in the recovery room and the fact that they were in the middle of space with no systems nearby, the only way Kanan knew that time was passing was the doctors who periodically came to check on Ezra. Kanan spent most of the time either meditating or speaking to his unconscious padawan, doing whatever he could to make sure Ezra knew he wasn’t alone and that Kanan wasn’t going to leave him. Their bond was still too faint, but it was growing stronger by the passing hours, and Kanan made sure to keep sending all the love and encouragement he could through it. 

Then Hera came back from a meeting and scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest. “You need to sleep and have a shower, Kanan,” she ordered, rolling her eyes when Kanan tried to argue, “you have been in this room for nearly forty-eight standard hours,” she explained, her hand coming to rest on his shoulder, “please go and get some rest. I’ll stay with Ezra,” she told him when he went to speak. 

“Our bond…”

“I know, hon,” Hera sighed, “but if you wear yourself out, you may end up upsetting Ezra and we don’t want that.” Kanan finally agreed, and Hera let herself smirk in triumph. Kanan would never argue when she pulled the ‘Ezra’ card. The Jedi slowly got up, stretching and wincing as something went pop in his back. The chairs weren’t the most comfortable, but they weren’t exactly for sleeping in either. The pilot pressed a kiss to her Jedi’s cheek before taking his place next to Ezra’s bed, carefully tucking the sheets in around the young teen to make sure he was comfortable. Kanan lingered just a moment longer, his hand hovering over Hera’s shoulder, but he eventually sighed and left without a word. 

When the door slid closed, Hera slumped in her seat and sighed, rubbing her temples. She was just as exhausted as Kanan but someone had to be the strong one. “Everyone’s worried about you, Ezra,” she said even though she knew there would be no response, “especially Kanan. He really loves you, y’know? We all do.” Hera leant forward and gingerly placed a kiss on Ezra’s forehead. He didn’t stir. 

For a very long time, Kanan had believed he was the last Jedi in the galaxy. He hadn’t heard from anyone since that dark day fifteen years earlier, running from place to place as he did his best to avoid the Empire and keep his secret hidden. Even after meeting Hera on Gorse and joining the Ghost, he still told no one for fear of the wrong people finding out. Then he met Ezra. The boy had amazing potential as a Jedi, and although he was barely anything more than a failed padawan himself, Kanan took it upon himself to train the young boy. A year later and he was reunited with Ahsoka, someone he had known from their time as younglings before she went to be trained under Master Skywalker. They hadn’t been all that close, but it was nice to know that there was someone else out there who knew what Kanan had been through. 

As he tried to sleep after his shower, Kanan’s mind kept wandering through these thoughts until memories came to replace them. Memories of training Ezra, of working with the  _ Ghost  _ crew, of meeting Ahsoka again and the times they would spar on  _ Phoenix Home _ like they were back in the Temple training rooms. 

_ A blue blade clashed with two white ones, the lights blinding to any untrained overseer as both former padawans danced on the mat of the small training room. It was nothing like the dojos at the Jedi Temple back on Coruscant, but it made do as Kanan and Ahsoka sparred. It was just practice, a friendly competition at most, but it was fun and it was familiar. It had been years since either had seen another Jedi, since they had met someone who truly understood, and they welcomed it. Ahsoka was much wiser and stronger than Kanan had ever thought he would become, and he admired her for that. Unfortunately, he was too busy admiring the lady and her skills that Ahsoka got the upper hand and knocked him onto his back, her white lightsabers crossing over his neck at a safe distance.  _

_ “Even at a young age you were gifted with a lightsaber,” Ahsoka complimented, deigniting her blades and clipping them to her belt before offering Kanan a hand up off of the floor, “but without training and discipline, those skills fade.” _

_ “So it seems,” Kanan admitted as he accepted the hand and got up, clipping his own lightsaber where it belonged. “I haven’t had to fight with my lightsaber very often for a while. I chose not to. I was…” _

_ “You were afraid to use it,” Ahsoka finished, “I understand.” _

_ “I’ve been teaching Ezra as best I can,” Kanan continued, his hands reaching to rub his upper arms where he folded them over his chest, “I want him to be the Jedi I’m not,” his face well, eyes glancing at his feet, “that I couldn’t be.” Ahsoka’s hand came to his shoulder, making the Jedi look her in the eyes.  _

_ “And I want you to be the Jedi that you are.” _

Kanan woke up to scratching coming from his door. A check on his chronometer told him he barely had two hours of restless sleep. He let out a groan and reluctantly sat up, moving his blanket to pull a shirt on and roughly tie his still-damp hair back into its ponytail. The scratching noise continued. “Alright, I’m coming,” he grumbled, assuming it was Chopper trying to annoy him again. Kanan opened the door, but it wasn’t Chopper. There was no one there. 

_ Meow _ . What? Kanan looked down at his feet only to find a grey loth-cat with bright brown eyes and a little kink in its tail staring up at him. Kanan raised an eyebrow but the loth-cat just meowed again and gave a toothy grin. “Hey, little buddy,” Kanan cooed, a little amused as he knelt down. The loth-cat nuzzled its head into his hand as Kanan stroked its ears, “how did you get here? Did you stow away?” The loth-cat purred and licked Kanan’s fingers, but then turned on its heels and bounded off down the hallway of the  _ Ghost _ . Kanan shook his head. He’d have to tell Hera of their little stowaway later. For now, he needed to get back to Ezra. Kanan headed towards the docking port and re-boarded  _ Phoenix Home _ , planning to head right back to the medical ward, but something brushed against his foot and he had to jump to stop himself from stepping on the loth-cat which seemed to magically appear just inches before him. 

“Wha-?  _ You  _ again?” Kanan asked. The loth-cat just meowed and pounced off again. Kanan kept walking, but he never got more than a few feet before his new friend appeared again. Each time he shooed the creature away, it would just trot along next to him or bound ahead as if asking him to follow. Kanan didn’t have the time for playing games. He had to get back to Ezra. 

Eventually, Kanan reached the medical bay and headed for room “14-09”, but something felt… off. With each step he took, something heavy fell over him, like there was something wrong. He rounded the corner that led to Ezra’s hallway and froze. 

Whatever it was, it was coming from Ezra’s recovery room. 

Kanan ran to the door and slammed a hand on the panel, the door whooshing open in seconds. On the bed, Ezra - still unconscious - was shifting. His head flailed from side to side, brow scrunched and fists clenching the blankets until his knuckles went white. Light groans escaped, but they were drowned out as the vitals monitor started to beep loudly and the number started to rise. 

“Ezra!” Kanan cried, stumbling to grab his padawan. He placed a hand on the young boy’s cheek and the other on his shoulder, gently shaking him in an attempt to snap him from- well, from whatever it was! The bad feeling Kanan had gotten was coming from Ezra as fear and pain flashed across their still strained bond; it made Kanan’s heart break. “Come on, Ezra, wake up!” Nothing. Nothing was working. Panic began to rise in Kanan’s stomach and he reached for the device to call the doctor-

The loth-cat hopped up onto the bed and ducked underneath one of Ezra’s hands, curling up into a ball and going right to sleep on the boy’s chest. Ezra calmed in an instant, his breaths growing stronger as his vitals steadied out and he stopped flailing. His hands relaxed, a small smile appeared on his lips as he settled, still remaining unconscious. Kanan collapsed into the plastoid chair, letting out the breath he hadn’t realised he was holding. His head fell into one hand and the other reached to give the loth-cat a little pet. 

“I don’t know where you came from, but thank you,” Kanan said to his new friend. The loth-cat, like Ezra, was asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

The doctor had been a little startled at the sight of the loth-cat who had made a home on Ezra’s chest, but when Kanan explained what had happened, the doctor agreed to let it stay as long as it didn’t interfere with any checks they had to perform. After the doctor checked on the wound and changed the dressing, they tucked the blanket up over the loth-cat so only its head was sticking out, like a plush doll Ezra was cuddling in his sleep. It was cute. If only Kanan had a holocam with him. The doctor left shortly afterwards, muttering something about Jedi being “just as strange as ever”. 

Hera joined him a little while later, grumbling about Sato trying to get the  _ Ghost  _ to go on a cargo run halfway across the galaxy. “I told him days ago that we are not going anywhere until Ezra is awake,” she explained, slumping into the seat Kanan had been in. Kanan reached for her shoulders and gently began to massage them, letting Hera relax a little as she vented, “I’m not making Sabine or Zeb go anywhere until they know Ezra is awake and that he’s going to be okay.” 

“How have they been?” Kanan asked her, feeling a little guilty. He’d been so focused on Ezra that he hadn’t seen the others in days. 

“Well, Sabine has been a nervous wreck, not that she’ll admit it,” Hera began, “she’s been drinking hot chocolate with cinnamon on top, Kanan. Cinnamon! She hates cinnamon!” 

“But Ezra loves it.”

“Yeah, he does,” Hera sighed, glancing over at the still-unconscious boy, “she is really worried about him. So is Zeb. He’s put a dent in the wall of his cabin, again. It’s been a long time since he got  _ that _ angry.” The last time Zeb had punched a wall so hard it dented was shortly after Kanan had been taken captive, nearly a year ago. He had worked with the Lasat to control his anger when Zeb first joined the crew, teaching him ways to let it out safely that didn’t lead to him replacing durasteel plating every time he got too mad. 

“I’m gonna go and see them,” Kanan told Hera. He didn’t really want to leave Ezra but he knew that the others needed him too. Neither Lasat nor Mandalorian were any good at expressing their emotions to others, especially when they really needed to. 

“I’ll stay here,” Hera replied, reaching to pull up the blanket and tuck it in a bit tighter. It was only then that Kanan remembered their new friend as Hera dropped the blanket edge and flinched back, not expecting to see a tooka in the recovery room. 

“Kanan, wha-”

“Leave her there,” Kanan replied, grabbing Hera’s hands before she could try and shoo it away, “she’s the only thing keeping Ezra calm right now.” Hera raised an eyebrow but she didn’t argue. It must have been something in Kanan’s tone. Instead, she just fixed the blanket and pushed Ezra’s hair from his forehead. It was getting greasy. 

Kanan kissed Hera’s cheek and then lent down to kiss Ezra’s forehead. He only hesitated for a moment, a voice in the back of his mind that sounded far too much like Master Billaba urging him to  _ “just admit that you love the boy, Caleb” _ , but he smiled and sent all the love he could through their bond, feeling Ezra relax as he did so. Kanan gave the loth-cat a light pet, but she didn’t stir, just purred in her sleep. 

Kanan had worked with Sabine and Zeb for a long time, and he knew what they needed to cope with most situations. He knew that Zeb needed space as he tended to process his emotions physically, but that he needed to be checked on as he would never ask for help even when he needed it. His past as a member of the Lasat Honour Guard made him feel as though he had to be strong enough to deal with everything alone, despite constantly being told that everyone would help him if he ever needed it. 

Sabine was more likely to ask, but only as a last resort as she tended to bottle things up until she exploded. When she exploded, it led to her self-esteem diminishing and she reverted back to her cold and closed-off ways she had when she first joined the team. No one wanted that. Kanan and Hera had worked too hard to get Sabine to open up and trust them; they didn’t want to end up back at square one again. 

Kanan climbed the ladder to the  _ Ghost  _ and headed towards the common area. It’s where he expected Sabine to be since there wasn’t any noise from spray paints coming from her cabin and he hadn’t passed her on the way. As he suspected, Sabine was sitting on the sofa around the dejarik table, a mug in her hand and a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. She was still in her sleep clothes. The mug was steaming, the liquid hidden by a light dusting of an orange powder. Cinnamon. Sabine nearly jumped when Kanan walked in, seemingly not noticing the Jedi until he approached her. That was unlike Sabine; she was always on guard even when it was just the crew on board. 

“Hey,” Kanan greeted. 

“Hey,” Sabine replied, glancing back to her drink. Kanan slid onto the sofa next to her. 

“Cinnamon, huh?” he asked. Sabine shrugged. 

“It’s Ezra’s favourite.” Tears glistened in her eyes and she furiously brushed them away, sniffling. 

Kanan didn’t ask for permission before he wrapped an arm around the teenager’s shoulders, but that seemed to be all Sabine needed because she broke into tears and burrowed her face into his chest, sobbing. In the years Kanan had known her, he could count all the times Sabine had cried on one hand and would still have most of his fingers to spare. It was better to just let her get her emotions out; if Kanan tried to pressure Sabine into talking she would just clam up and keep her feelings bottled, and that wouldn’t do any of them any good. It would only lead to the Mandalorian snapping at someone and Kanan didn’t feel like dealing with an angry Sabine. 

“Is Ezra gonna be okay?” she murmured, still sniffling. The Jedi sighed and ran his fingers through her hair, holding her close. 

“He’s gonna be fine,” he said, though he didn’t really believe himself, “but we need to be strong for him. He’s gonna need us when he wakes up, so we’ve got to be strong.”

“I just want my little brother back,” Sabine cried. Kanan held back his own tears. 

“I know you do, kiddo,” he cooed. 

It was a while before Sabine’s cries calmed, turning into nothing more than quiet hiccups. For a moment she stayed in Kanan’s embrace, but it didn’t last too long as soon she was pulling away and clearing her throat, scrubbing her cheeks to brush away all evidence of tears. Her cheeks were bright red; not just from the tears, Kanan was certain she was blushing. Sabine pulled her blanket tighter around herself. 

“I’m… gonna go get some sleep..” she mumbled and hurried to her feet, pausing only for a second to quietly thank Kanan before she all but ran to her cabin. Once she had disappeared, Kanan shook his head and smiled. Tomorrow she would deny everything that had happened, but Kanan didn’t mind. Whatever she needed to help. 

Kanan got up and took the mug of now-cold hot chocolate into the galley, pouring it down the drain and rinsing the mug out. He’d wash it later when he did the dishes, but for now he had another Spectre to check on. Loud snores were echoing from inside Zeb’s cabin, and when the Jedi opened the door, he found the Lasat sprawled out on the top bunk, mouth wide open and limbs hanging off of the edge. 

On the wall, just above the small table, was a large, Lasat fist-sized dent. 

Kanan quietly sighed and reached out with the Force to pick up the blanket from the floor, moving it up to cover Zeb whilst also sending a Force suggestion to both the Spectres to sleep. Zeb’s snores seemed to get louder as he did so, and he was certain he heard Sabine drop something from through the wall. Nevertheless, the Jedi left the cabin and left the corridor. 

Ezra would wake up soon, Kanan was certain of that. He could feel their bond growing stronger and stronger by the passing hour, even if Ezra wasn’t really responding to anything Kanan sent his way. The doctor said he would only need a few weeks of rest and then he would be back to missions, but he would have to watch himself for a while. Kanan was determined to keep the kid in bed for a month at the least, but as long as he woke up, everything would be fine. 

_ “You need to tell him, Caleb,” _ came that voice in his head. Kanan shook the thought from his mind, trying not to picture his Master standing with her arms folded over her chest and a knowing smirk on her lips. No, Ezra needed to heal first before Kanan went around admitting that he loved the boy like he was his own, that he saw him as more than just his padawan and would be proud to call him his son. All that could come later, For now, all Ezra needed to do was wake up and be told of just how much he was loved by everyone. 

That would be enough. 


	4. Chapter 4

The thick black wall that had kept Ezra trapped in the strange state of “sleep” for the past Force-knows-how-long had started to fade, but every time Ezra tried to push it he was just thrown back. Instead, he had waited. Waited for the wall to fade enough that he could break through and find out who was sending him all those emotions. It felt like a lifetime that the young Jedi had been caught up in his own mind, trying his best to reach out for Kanan, for anyone, but failing each time. Someone kept trying to reach him, though, kept talking to him and begging him to wake up and return to them. It was weird. There was no concept of time in the strange little space he was in and something distant kept pulling him towards the unknown, but he hadn’t followed it. No, he held on to that bond he felt and prayed to whoever was listening that the dark wall would disappear soon. 

When the wall began to fade, things started to return. At first, it was just little things. A distant, constant beeping noise. A strange weight on his chest. Soft bristling against his cheek. It felt… nice. Ezra pushed against the wall just the slightest, not expecting it to shatter. His eyes snapped open and he gasped heavily, frantically looking around the room he was in. Where was he? What had happened? Was he in a… medical room? What-

Pain erupted from his right side as he attempted to sit up. Oh, right! He had been stabbed with a lightsaber. That would explain a lot. Settling back down, Ezra took a deep breath and took a good look at himself. He felt bandages around his abdomen, there was an IV taped to his left arm, and that annoying clip was on his right middle finger. The room he was in looked like one of the  _ Phoenix Home  _ recovery rooms, and he was alone. 

_ Meow _ . What? Ezra followed the sound to look at his lap, where he found Toodles curled up. She opened one eye, looked Ezra up and down, brushed her long tail against his cheek and then went back to sleep. Ezra carefully lifted his hand to stroke behind her ears, wincing slightly as he felt the muscle pull a bit. How long had he been out? Had Toodles been there the whole time?

The door to the room whooshed open and Kanan walked in. He had a cup of caf in one hand and a plate with a sandwich on it in the other, but both went crashing to the ground the moment he laid eyes on Ezra. “Hey, Kanan,” Ezra greeted, trying to sit up again but wincing as the bandages pulled. Kanan ran to Ezra’s side in seconds, gently easing Ezra to lay back down.

“Careful,” he said, voice cracking a little as tears began to prick in his eyes. Ezra frowned. 

“Hey, why are you crying? What happened?” he asked. Kanan shook his head. He smiled, but it only made the tears fall down his cheeks as he threw his arms around his padawan and clung as tightly as he dared. “Kanan?”

“You’re awake,” Kanan replied, words nothing more than a whisper as if saying it would make Ezra disappear, “oh, thank the Force you’re awake!” Kanan pulled back, but only slightly as soon he was placing light kisses all over Ezra’s face. It was a shock, for sure, as Ezra was still certain he was stuck in his mind, but he relished it and chose to let his own tears fall instead of brushing them away. 

“I was so scared,” Kanan admitted, grasping Ezra’s hands in his own, “everyone’s been a mess. Our bond was so weak, I-I thought I was going to lose you before I could tell you-” A sob escaped Kanan’s lips as he carefully pulled Ezra in close, burying his face into his padawan’s blue hair. Ezra wrapped his arms around Kanan’s middle. Through their bond he could feel his master’s relief, his joy, his exhaustion. Had he slept at all? More importantly, he felt love. It was strong, a little overwhelming, and Ezra embraced it all. 

“I love you too, Kanan,” he replied, sending as much back as he could. Kanan sobbed. They stayed like that for a while, in each other’s embraces whilst they cried. Kanan confessed how much he had missed his padawan, how he feared he wouldn’t get to say goodbye. Ezra just hugged him tighter. 

“Hey, where did Toodles go?” Ezra asked when he noticed his little friend had disappeared. 

“Who?” Kanan questioned, looking around the room, “oh, you mean the loth-cat?” 

“Yeah, she’s my friend,” Ezra explained. Kanan didn’t seem to have a response. He just pulled Ezra back into his embrace and kissed his forehead. 

The doctor entered the room a little while later, carefully avoiding the mess on the floor from where Kanan dropped his lunch. “Ezra, you’re awake!” they announced with a smile, taking the datapad from the end of the bed, “I’m going to give you a quick check over, okay?” Ezra nodded. Kanan moved to sit in the chair next to the bed, but he didn’t let go of Ezra’s hand. The two shared a smile, emotions fluttering across their bond. 

A few days later, after a lot of hugs and just as many check ups, Ezra was released from the medical bay on  _ Phoenix Home _ . “You are on bedrest for another week and then off duty for another three, do you understand, Ezra?” the doctor had informed him as they signed the release forms. Ezra didn’t care what rules he had to follow, he was just happy to be getting out of the medical bay. It was a difficult walk back to the  _ Ghost _ , what with Ezra having not used his legs for nearly a week, but with one arm wrapped around Kanan’s waist and his Master’s arm around his shoulders, they made it to the docking port and back home. Everyone was waiting. Sabine met them first, grabbing Ezra into a hug which thoroughly shocked the teen, though it didn’t last as long as either of them would have liked as Sabine soon pulled away, cleared her throat and patted his shoulder. “... You’re alive.” she stated. 

“I missed you too, ‘Bean,” Ezra replied. Red tinged Sabine’s cheeks and ears, but she smiled. 

A heavy hand patted Ezra’s back as gently as it could, and Ezra could recognise it anywhere as Zeb playfully nudged the young Jedi’s shoulder. Carefully, as not to aggravate his injury. “It’s been boring without ya, kid,” Zeb said. Chopper whirred and hit Ezra’s leg with one of his pincers. From where she was leaning against the wall, Hera smirked and approached Ezra, pulling him in for a hug and pressing a kiss to his temple. 

“We’re all happy you’re okay, sweetie,” she said, her words soft and full of love. Kanan placed his hands on Ezra’s shoulders. 

What did Ezra do to deserve such a family? 

_ Meow _ . Ezra looked down just in time to see Toodles nuzzling against his leg. Without a second though, the teen bent down and scooped the loth-cat into his arms, holding her close. Sabine and Zeb both said something he didn’t listen to, too focused on his little friend who both got him into and brought him out of the mess that had been the past week. 

“Can she stay?” Ezra asked, looking to Hera. The Captain’s mouth opened, a protest on her tongue, but she caught Kanan’s eye before she could speak. Though unspoken, she knew what he was saying. And, if she was being honest, Hera couldn’t resist the wide eyes both Ezra and the loth-cat were giving her. The same loth-cat from the recovery room, she realised. Of course. 

“Only if you promise to take care of her,” Hera replied. Ezra cheered, but then winced and grabbed his side as the bandages pulled tightly. Kanan grabbed him in a second. 

“Ok, it’s off to bed with you,” he ordered sternly but with no real heat behind his words. Ezra didn’t argue, he wanted to sleep into the next cycle. 

Kanan had to practically carry Ezra up the ladders, but they made it to the cabins and Kanan led him into his own. “Wait, wha-”

“I don’t want you falling off of the top bunk,” Kanan explained, getting Ezra and Toodles settled on his bunk, “you can have my cabin for the week, until you’re strong enough to climb the ladder properly.” Kanan disappeared out of the cabin, so Ezra took off his boots and put them at the foot of the bed. Normally he would just kick them somewhere, but he wasn’t in his own cabin. All of a sudden he felt exhausted, even more so than earlier. Kanan returned with a small stack of clothes which Ezra took from him, placing Toodles into his master’s arms. He had turned to get changed, so Ezra missed the way Kanan’s eyes widened as he awkwardly stroked the loth-cat. 

When he finally managed to get changed, determined to do it himself, Ezra sunk into the bunk and sighed. Kanan placed Toodles back in Ezra’s arms and knelt down, pulling one of the drawers open. “Sit up,” he said, and Ezra grumbled but complied. He was just getting comf…

“What’s that?” Ezra asked. Kanan had a thick bundle in his hands. As he unravelled it, the bundle turned into a dark brown cloak with long sleeves and a hood. 

“My old padawan cloak,” Kanan admitted, visibly swallowing as he stared at the garment. Shaking his head, Kanan stood back up and leaned forward to wrap the cloak around Ezra’s shoulders, his padawan almost automatically slipping his arms through the sleeves, “looks like a perfect fit,” he mused. Ezra wrapped the material around himself, bundling Toodles up inside. She purred and nuzzled closer. 

Ezra yawned and Kanan chuckled. “Come on,” he urged, helping Ezra to lay down on the bunk before grabbing the blanket and tucking him in. Ezra curled up, and Toodles made a home for herself on the edge of the pillow in the small space between the wall and Ezra’s hair. Kanan pressed a kiss to the teen’s forehead. Kanan petted her head. 

“Goodnight, Ezra,” he said, getting up to leave. 

“I love you, Dad.” Kanan froze, turning back to Ezra to see him sleepily smiling. 

“... I love you too, kid,” he replied, smiling in return, Ezra closed his eyes. 

“And I love you too, Mom,” Kanan turned to the door, where Hera had been watching for the last few minutes. Tears welled up, her hand covering her mouth, Hera whispered back but Ezra was already fast asleep, snoring lightly. 

Kanan walked to Hera’s side and embraced her, looking back into the cabin once more. Toodles was staring at him. “Keep looking out for him, yeah?” he asked her. She meowed, flicking her tail to rest it on Ezra’s head. Toodles would look out for Ezra. She had done all his life.

That’s what a  _ Chanul  _ does, after all.


End file.
